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2003.06.11
As a Man Thinketh...Reader Repartee, I
Subject: debate: As a man thinketh...
Date: Sat, 12 Jul 2003 00:35:34 -0700 (PDT)
I found your article interesting, and I agree there is a tremendous
problem in today's society with people who would rather be victims than
take responsibility for their choices. But my main focus here has to
do with the issue of those who desire sex with the young.
Now, while I in no way condone real-life acts of those who desire sex with the young, I think
the outcome of the case against the fellow with the journals is
sickening. Pedophilia is as much a mental illness as being gay is.
They're normal sexual desires, except somehow, via trauma, chemical
imbalance, or a downward spiral of perverted pornographic exploration,
have turned into a focus toward younger persons. For someone who
simply has these urges, I feel pity for them. They can never have what
they perceive to be true sex, because they know, and society tells them
that it is extremely wrong (I agree). But I think for a lot of them,
it's the same as hetero vs. homosexual. It wasn't so much a choice, as
much as it was something they had to come to terms with. The problem
is that if you're gay, it is possible to have a consensual
relationship. Yet we as a society have said that until our children
are 18, they cannot consent to sexual acts with older persons.
So a person who feels those urges is backed into a corner of perpetual
denial. Which, is a tough situation, but that's the only acceptable
outcome. And I personally find it sickening when a person in this
situation resorts to the only method he can to express these urges
without harming anyone else, and is thrown in jail because of it.
That would be like being put in jail for drawing a woman stroking a
unicorn's erection, simply because 99.9% percent of everyone else
thought that the act of stimulating a unicorn was sick and wrong. Even
though you personally would never go out and fuck a horse, you are
being punished for simply depicting that act.
Like I said, I think the act of those who desire sex with the young is horrible. People who
harm children for sexual pleasure deserve to be punished. But when no
children are involved, where is the crime? And even for those to whom
the desire is a complete choice, where is the crime in simply
fantasizing in a personal journal?
Put yourself in their shoes. What if you were told that most of your
sexual desires were wrong, and un-natural? What if you knew that what
you felt was not normal? Wouldn't you struggle with that? I think
that that man found a healthy outlet for his sexuality, and the only
crime was persecuting him for it. Where is freedom of expression in
that scenario?
But then again, I'm just an 18 year old guy who thinks he knows
something. lol So don't take me too seriously now.
Date: Sun, 13 Jul 2003 10:40:35 -0800
Dear Friend,
If indeed your are an 18 year old, then I appreciate your intelligent
thoughtfulness--as it seems to me you have come to some conclusions that I am
hoping for.
As to the lover of youth--it seems there is a complexity to it that is probably
true of all fetishes--where the degree of focus and obsession is the
factor that turns it into deviance. What is difficult about this one is
that there are cultures and societies that have embraced this particular
practice as a healthy course of nature. The Greeks, Romans and Spartan
cultures were very involved in a ritual of an older man taking a young boy
for sexual bonding. The Far East and some African cultures have had thier own permission
around these practices. Like homosexuality, there are cultures that have
found a way to permit these less common interests into their sexual
expression without reducing them to judgments of shame.
So, today, we have a different point of view about the practice--Where did
that all come from and do the thoughts we have about those who desire sex with the young stem from
ignorances or accuracies? I am not promoting the practice of those who desire sex with the young
in anyway. But, I might suggest that the factors of morality around it may
be as confusing as why cultures that embrace nudity and different
expressions of open sexuality have less sex crime than our very puritan
morality does.
The bottom line for me however, is the difference between expression as a
fantasy vs. that of reality. I do not believe a man is as he thinketh, but
as he does. That the realm of fantasy is what gives potential to behavior,
but that it is the behavior and the reality of its consequences that are
deserving of ethical scrutiny and possible social correction...and not the
thought--be it expressions in a journal or depictions as art.
Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts!
Would you mind if I shared it on the website?
Sincerely,
Karynna
Date: Sun, 13 Jul 2003 20:34:43 -0700 (PDT)
Dear Karynna,
I agree completely. It's easy for people to fall over the line between
what some consider 'darker' fantasy, and behavioral deviance which can
harm others.
Cultrual standards are, of course, the foundation for morality,
especially with the specifics of sex. The problem is that few people
take the time to see beyond the boundaries of their own preconceptions,
let alone develope the personal freedom to explore their own boundaries
(in healthy ways, i.e. not developing into an obsession), and to
explore the boundaries of others with an unbiased viewpoint.
LOL Okay, reading over that, now I'm starting to talk out of my ass.
But, I'm glad we could exchange thoughts. But it is truly the act and
not the thought for which one should be punished. And I don't think
that written expression of those feelings is any reason to persecute
someone.
Yes, I am, in all reality, an 18 year old male. My name is Russ, and
please feel free to share any of this on the website. Perhaps it will
encourage others to think. There isn't enough of that going on in the
world these days. ;)
Take care!
~Russell
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